HBO’s Overrated Sword-Porn Has One More Season

By Logan McRay

Lonely millennial woman and half men are eagerly anticipating the return of “Game of Thrones” to HBO in April 2019 for its final season. The "blood and boobies masquerading as Tolkien" production will wrap up with its eighth season featuring Queen of Dragons Daenerys Stormbottom, plucky but emo future king Jack Snow, and evil stepmother Cersei the White.

The hugely popular show is known for challenging patriarchal stereotypes with the empowering stories of women of action and rapes galore. There is also the empowering incest, empowering prostitution, empowering random frontal nudity and nonstop murder.

Once derided as sexist, “Game of Thrones” has succeeded in painting with such a broad misanthropic brush that everyone on this show is loathsome. Women and men alike are driven by greed and the basest of desires. Even the dogs are terrible.

The end cannot come soon enough for a show that started with such promise in season one when the noble ruler of Wintergarden, Ned Flanders, was decapitated with a chainsaw (spoiler alert!).